Getting Off Task... Guilty!

Day 3 Prompt: "Discuss one “observation” area that you would like to improve on for your teacher evaluation."

This prompt made me uncomfortable. Not completely sure why, but I believe it has to do with the tone I read this statement with. It made me think about teachers everywhere spending time, not with their teaching craft, lessons, or students, but with their worries about the next evaluation results. Be warned: I got off topic from this prompt (I hope this still counts as me staying on this 30-day challenge).

Teacher evaluations - necessary, but often misused or inaccurate. There are a wide variety of teacher evaluations that exist and they act as a significant influence on teacher life/performance/motivation. Three years ago, my teacher evaluation was a spreadsheet of numbers. Not numbers that measure my competence, use of technology, or teaching pedagogy, but numbers of my students' benchmark test scores. I was never seen as a teacher or a human, I was seen as a number generating machine. If you were a good machine with high numbers, you were ignored. If you were a poor machine with low numbers, you were excused. My teaching partner, a new teacher at the time, didn't make it past her first teacher evaluation - it was week 1. By week 2 I had a new partner.

When the CEO of the charter stepped onto campus, a silent alarm was triggered in the form of a group text among the teachers. It always read, "BIG EAGLE HAS LANDED." And it always instilled a fresh coat of fear and anxiety.

Not all teacher evals are created equally. Now I am visited so frequently by my admin that the students and I see it as part of a normal day. I am encouraged to act naturally and I am provided opportunities to create lessons that actually reach and engage my students. The eval comes in the form of a document, but it does not contain any student test scores. It contains a spectrum of development, a focus on progress, and a emphasis on teacher pedagogy and competence in multiple literacies. I feel like I am represented completely in my eval - strengths and areas of growth all included. My biggest goal for the year is to improve with my competence in technological literacies with my second graders. 

What would it be like if all teachers could experience valuable and insightful evaluations? 

September and a 30-Day Challenge

OK.. I may be a day behind, but what the hell. I'm taking on this 30-day challenge!

DAY 1

Goals:
To question the role of curriculum.
To question my role as the educator.
To have students generate questions that interest them.
To pursue those questions.
To tear down the "lady with the answer".
To challenge myself to be more thoughtful.
To challenge my students to be more insightful.
To break limits.
To set goals.
To remember and honor the lights of El Milagro.
To tell my coworkers I love them.
To communicate.
To teach for justice.
To keep my mind on equity and privilege.
To be a role model.
To be a leader.
To be resilient.
To be gritty.
To be tough.
To be new.

DAY 2

I am trying to transform the use of the Chromebooks in my classroom. I got my feet wet with the CBs last year, but played around with google drive and used it as a glorified notebook.

What I need to do is find a way for the Chromebooks to be transformative and innovative. I want to use the CBs in a way that bring students together with collaboration rather than provide them with isolated computer literacy courses. 

Though I have looked through numerous apps or programs, I want to use CBs for research, questions, feedback, creations. Does anybody have any good ideas for using CBs in the classroom?

Year Two: a Blur

After the tumultuous Year 1, I felt hopeful and eager to begin Year Two at another school. I was offered the second grade teaching position at a charter school located in San Diego in the summer of 2012. I was welcomed by the open arms of my administration and the support of my teaching partners. I never worked so hard in my life. It probably explains why I didn't post any blog entries for an entire school year.  To sum up my amazing second year, I wrote this poem:

Family
it holds truth, love, and hard work up
sunsets and rises
handfuls of laughter, heartfuls of commitment
students first, teachers challenged
to be better, to be transformed
to put students first
classroom time ups and downs
all arounds
but always resulting at peace, at success
writing the future
lifelong learners
global commitment
pushing boundaries
creating student rebels to an
unfair education system
push push and push on
knowing that the times you trip
you'll be caught
not just by a hand, but many
deep breaths
deep thoughts
love
strength
belief
more love
my new family

It is now the beginning of Year Three. 2nd grade. New faces, new ideas, new connections.
I hope to keep you all updated with posts. So far, my new students have been growing steadily into a warm, loving family. We have been building our classroom community and learning how to "be" with each other. Two days down and I'm still wishing there were more hours in the day for me to spend with my students. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Freedom

I write this post today as a free being.  I have been caught in the haze that my former school has created and survived the culture of fear that all three of my principals have maintained.  I decided not to write of the realities of the school throughout the year but I am proud to announce that I have sent in my formal resignation letter.

Clicking the "Send" button in my email has never felt so liberating, so exhilarating, or so peaceful.  As soon as the letter was sent I felt a world of pressure and stress lift off my shoulders.

I no longer work for a school who doesn't put children first.  I no longer work for a school who simply does not support their educators.  I no longer work for a school who takes advantage of their eager, new first-year teachers.  I no longer answer to administrators who claim that "social justice is bullshit".

I am free from it all.  I am lifted with new hope and faith in my career decisions.  It was risky to leave, yes, but it was more risky to stay and lose my entire belief in the education system.  I did not want to lose the love I felt for teaching and my hope in the success of CA public school system.

I hope that my friends and colleagues who are remaining at the school find the beauty in being a teacher, continue to see the positive side of things, and most importantly - find a way to put their students first.

I will miss my students, my friends, and my dedicated colleagues - but I am proud of my decision and I hope the school finds a way to one day match their mission statement that claims to support the people and communities of underserved communities.

And to the administrator who claimed "social justice is bullshit", I have very little respect for your view on education, I do not understand your lack in dedication to children; and for the last and final time, I do not agree that "testing and data is all that matters".

Love,
The new and refreshed Ms. Tsai

A Teacher's Bliss? Spring Break - No Doubt About It

Spring Break


One dance show.  A sick Pumbaa for Hakuna Matata.  6 more online assessments.  painting day. observation.  more observation.   one new principal.  23 parent conferences.  one open house.
Just a fraction of the fire-y hoops I had to jump through in order to reach the oasis that is Spring Break.


I have spent the last 6 days hidden away from work folk and anyone shorter than 4 feet tall.  I have been lounging and passing the time by cooking, baking, reading, working out, laughing, smiling, and asking myself difficult questions like "What kind of coffee shall I order today?" or "Hm, should I wake up at 10 AM or 12 PM?".  I hope I forever remember the feeling that I am having during my first ever teacher spring break.


School resumes on April 9th.  No big breaks from here on out so it will be a hell of a push for me to carry myself through the year.  Big upcoming events:  btsa deadline, masters inquiry deadline, inquiry presentations, and THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL.


c a n t w a i t . 


Although I desperately needed a break from work, I spent some time this week at a good friend's school.  She works as an intervention teacher and it was so blissful to see what a "normal" school does and how "normal" kinders work.  I have really forgotten what that's like and it was like breathing clean air for the first time in a long time to see students that are curious about learning.


It served as hope and inspiration for me and the future of public school education.  Thanks, friend!

Love is...

...eating breakfast with my students at 7 AM in the auditorium.

The school year is moving along rather quickly and things are going well with my students.  They are growing as individuals and scholars and tackling the (insane) demands of the administration and school.  Students love being with their peers, but the testing craze still creates a fog of anxiety and stress for my kids.  I can only hope with my heart that they will not be turned off by school, that they won't grow to see that school = tests, and that they will learn to be an advocate for themselves and their education.

Valentines Day is coming up and I can't wait for my kids to tell me what love is to them.  I'll post their responses <3

...having a dance party to hakuna matata after benchmark was over.

I woke up and it was suddenly the end of 2011!

Wow, time does fly when you have dance concerts, benchmark exams, weekly online assessments, writing exams, and uh - oh yeah, teaching to take care of!  I honestly cannot recall most of what has happened since November until December 15th afternoon when school was let out and I was FREE!  One of the most important tips I can give to other teachers and future educators is this:

I know we don't make good money, and of course the money we do is spent buying supplies for our classroom, but make time and budget something for a VACATION.  We certainly deserve it.  I can tell you wholeheartedly that after 6 years of rigorous, test crazy college prep school + 4 grueling years of undergrad + 1.3 years of graduate school (continuously!!) I never needed a "vacation".  But after 3 months of teaching?  oh yeah, no regrets on my vaca to Florida!

Had to take this photo - can't wait to show my kinder students!

I hope everyone else out there (especially hardworking teachers) has a safe and beautiful holiday and a fresh new year.

See you all in 2012!

Yeah, that's me.  And that's a giant sting ray - no biggy.  SERIOUSLY, GO ON VACATION. <3